Monday, December 14, 2015

Define Success


Hello. Good Day.

What do you call as success? Whom do you call a successful person?

A celebrity or some famous person is likely to have come in your mind. Now tell me are you a successful person? Tough question is it not?

I was asking myself the same question ‘am I a successful person?’ People (my mom most of the times) have been telling me, you have to be successful. So why is it so important to be successful? What is the distinction that makes one person a success and other a failure? What is this success anyway?

I do not know. Achievements, success all seem so relative, comparative.

I have a great loving family which is ready to get me whatever I want, so do you call that a success? No I do not think so, the place or manner of my birth was not under my control. You do not take credits for what happened out of random occurrence. That is not success.

I have a good respectful job, which I got because of 30% hard work and 70% of being at the right place at the right time. Good friends who will hear me when I need them. Nothing major is missing in my life. So ai’nt I a successful person?

Now a new question pops up, what are your goals? Have you achieved them?

So is success setting up a goal and working hard and achieving it ?

ha ha ha ... You are deeply delirious, and naive.

Success is defined by society. The distant relative who never calls you is the one defining success.

In real life situation, SUCCESS=MAKING MORE MONEY than your peers. So my friend who robs a bank must be the successful guy. Yup he is, until he gets caught. Then soceity gets together and beats the shit of that successful guy.

Success is the tag people around you give. That is when you conform to the norms they have set.

Maybe we should define success individually, like it is the best you have done without compromising on the principles you believe in. This best is your maximum output without complacency taking over. So your goals come into picture now. They are the ones which dictate your success story. Have a big goal make them so big that thinking of it makes you tremble.

Be successful to yourself.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

People with power



Proceed with Caution: I am a fairly cynical person with spurts of euphoria, call me bipolar, depressed, schizophrenic or any other clinical psychological term but I speak my mind, always the truth and fight to do what I say.

What is meant by power?  In Speilberg’sSchindler’s List’ movie, the lead character says one of the most beautiful and profound meaning for power “Power is when we have every justification to kill, and we don't. That's what the Emperor said. A man steals something, he's brought in before the Emperor, and he throws himself down on the ground. He begs for his life, he knows he's going to die. And the Emperor... pardons him. This worthless man, he lets him go. That's power, Amon. That is power.” These words always bring me goosebumps.

So this kind of power the power which the emperor wields so easily from where did he get it? The armed men who surround him or the wise advisors who support him? A person like him would have taken that power by force and kept it that way without either of them.

Whenever someone talk about power the scene that comes to my mind is someone who can order people around and has control over me. Like my head master from school, my parents, my lecturers in college. You feel powerless in front of them. But should we compare this power which they have with that of the awe inspiring power those emperors wielded?

No it’s not scalable to such a level of life and death but the power they use is something subtle, sharp, and more affecting. How can it be more affecting?

Self-Esteem, this word is freely thrown around nowadays the basic understanding of this over used word is how much the person respects himself in this wretched world. There a huge amount of people talking about it so I am just adding to the group saying that the power these controlling people use affect this self esteem.
*add video regarding self esteem*
Shit! Too many videos... Google it yourself.
Let me tell you a story. It is Sunday morning you are on your way to meet your friend, then to a movie along with her. You take the usual bus route and meet the usual conductor and make small talk with him. The bus has floor space but all the seats are taken, so you hold the over head support and stand leaning on the support pillar. You text your friend that you will reach by 20 minutes. Now you notice some stranger smiling at you, you have never met him before so you avert having an eye contact and look pointlessly into your mobile. You get down at your stop and notice the person who had smiled at you looks a little sad and angry.
Now this power, smiling at a seemingly random stranger, maybe the stranger would have helped you out to give change to the conductor who asked you to get down the bus because you did not have enough money. Or maybe you looked a little familiar and he gave you a smile. Your power might have made someone to rethink helping others or even smiling. What happened was no one’s fault but a simple smile had the power.

We all have some kind of power, we do not realise that. Even just a realisation of that power wouldn’t solve anything. The question is how do we use that power? When we don’t even realise having something, how do we learn to use that? Power is psychological. It is like fire, either you burn or burn the people around you.

I believe solution to any problem comes with understanding it completely and knowing how the problem affect its surrounding. If we could answer these questions then the solution that we think will be the best can be perfected along the way.

So what is the point of the power? You use your power wisely. Find out where your power lies, with great powers come great responsibilities. (Yes, Uncle Ben told this, and yes he is from fiction Spiderman, so what? It is still true.)

Believe All. Trust none.

Live Life.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Love another day!

Have a Good Day! A biscuit maybe or just think of having a day which is good for you.

It has been a long time since I posted here. This is getting repetitive and has to stop. Some people (my family and friends. Duh!) missed me and asked me to continue contributing here. Though most of the time they don’t understand what I had written here. So looking back I miss those days and I want them back.

Now for a recap of what has happened in my life as of now, I have got a smart nephew who is going to be one year old soon, graduated as a production engineer, joined a corporate ‘Titan Company Limited’, there working in the precision parts manufacturing plant (Yayy! Core), moved to Hosur, started living alone, still single, so that is the big part of my life. So it will be a lie if I say I had been too busy to post here, I was just lazy. But now I have resolved to post something each week. About what? No sir, I have no idea but I am going to post whatever I feel like.

So today will be short story!

It was Valentine’s Day, (yeah this is a cheesy love story, so if you are not in the mood for this you can read and be frustrated), and he was waiting to call her at 12, a plan in the formation for the past few months. She was in Chennai, he was in Bangalore. Their calls were STD and they knew about their special booster packs much better than their mess menus. She was preparing to do masters. He was working in a multi-national. She was his one, time and space stood still when they start talking to each other, he knew that she too felt the same way. But he didn’t want to propose over the phone. He wanted to see all the beautiful changes that will happen over her face in that special moment. Will she kiss him? Will she cry with joy? Or will say “at last!” he was sure she would say that, but he was thinking a kiss would make him happier. They were in an on-off contact for over 12 years; they had been talking to each other daily for the past one year. They were the usual lovebirds talking about everything on earth sharing everything. Now this time he wanted to seal his love for her by letting her know about it.

He was going to miss the opportunity of looking into her face when he says that three words, but he 
did not want to wait any longer, already he felt that slowly they were drifting apart. She called him on 13th at 7.00 pm the usual time, he picked up enthusiastically, his excitement was at its peak but he talked controlling those emotions in his voice, he wanted to tell her exactly at midnight. With the usual conversation of nothings and everything he hung up the call. Her calls were as usual refreshing. Any last minute doubts were gone, he made up his mind that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

At 12 he called her, *the subscriber you are trying to call is busy at the moment*, he died a little. He hung up the call. There was no call back from her; she was talking to someone at midnight on Valentine’s Day. All hell broke loose in his head. He called her back at 12:15, *the subscriber you are trying to call is busy at the moment*, he felt nauseous. He vomited all of his dinner in the toilet. He had felt never such a feeling of pain before. He called her after 15 minutes. She was still busy. Feeling wretched he closed his eyes and threw himself on the bed, he wanted to wake up and tell this was all a dream. She called back. Hoping that she would tell that she had been talking to one of her friends he slowly attended the call with his shaky hand. She was excited, she was jumping with joy, and she was going on a trip with some guy. 

She said “At last he found his guts, he is taking me to mahabalipuram tomorrow”

“Who is taking you to mahabalipuram?”

“Oh! I didn’t want to keep it a secret from you but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. That moment had passed. Remember that guy I studied in college with who proposed me in our first year?”

“No. What about him?”

“So he proposed to me again this New Year, in my final year we got close and I accepted him!”

“Oh! Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“It is not that I wanted to hide it from you, I just thought you would not mind it! Leave it, it’s my fault, sorry, I should have told you earlier! Now tell me why did you call?”

“Oh okay! But you should have told me before we are talking daily and you didn’t tell me.”

“I said I am sorry. We were not talking frequently when he proposed to me. It’s no one’s fault. Leave it! Why did you call me?”

“Nothing, was not feeling sleepy, so thought I would say hello.”  

“To say hello you called me thrice?”

“Yeah!”

“Hmm, he is calling me!”

“Okay you carry on! How are going to mahabalipuram?”

“Bike ... Okay! Bye”

“Bye! Safe travel!”

By this time, huge drops of tears were streaming down his face, he could not believe it, so long he was talking to her and she never mentioned her boyfriend! Why couldn’t he guess this would happen when they started talking to each other? He was feeling helpless. He knew she was in contact with him and he had doubts that they might get together but he never convinced himself that it would happen. Somehow he was sad and angry with her because she hid her love from him than then reason that she was not in love with him.  He wanted to get lost never to be found. He knew what he wanted to do. He lied down and called his friend.



She was feeling sleepy, Valentine’s Day was tomorrow and her boyfriend had not told her about any plans. She had told him that she will plan something but he was against it, saying he did not believe in such days, all days should be a celebration for love. He and his ideals have no logic she thought. She was not expecting much from him, though she felt that he was planning something, she was not ready to let her hopes fly. She had called her friend some time back he was not so interested in talking, he must be working too hard. She made a mental to tell him tomorrow to take it easy. She enjoyed talking to her friend. She was able to talk about anything and everything without a thought about how he would take it or what would he think of me. Talking to him was like organizing her thought process, no boundaries, no stones left unturned. He knew about everything and would happily help her with whatever, whenever she asked. He was her best friend. He had been her friend from school days about 12 years, though they never spoke much during school they became close friends after joining college. There had been long periods when they weren’t talking to each other, but whenever they start talking again it was always like they were never apart. She knew she could always count on him when she was in trouble. She felt safe in his presence.

Her boyfriend came into her life when she joined college. He came as her friend, started talking slowly and then suddenly he proposed to her. She could not believe it, this was new to her, though she had many friends who were boys but no one had dared to tell her those three words. She stopped talking to him and wanted nothing more from him. She avoided him the whole of her first year. Then he came back at the end of the final year, in the mean time she had seen all her friends go through several boyfriends and breakups. On New Year day he proposed to her again, he had waited till she wished her best friend a happy new year that night and told her that he was still in love with her. Now she had grown to love him, she had seen a little bit of the world, his innocent talks, the way he accepted her with the same love he had from the beginning, the way he cared for her, his principles, his ideals, his acceptance of her quirkiness, and lot more of his weirdness. Each one of these little things made her fall for him. She could talk to him not only like a best friend but as a life partner, as a soul mate, as a significant other. She felt secure with him. She responded back to him with all the love in this world after two days.

But she could not share her joy with her best friend; they had had a misunderstanding and talking less than usual during that time. After few days they patched up, she still could not tell him her love, they started to talk normally, but that moment was lost. She was happy with her love and had a friend who really cared about her. She was the happiest she had ever been.

At 11:45 pm of 13th she got a call from her boyfriend, excited she picked up the call, expecting a surprise. She was talking to him like a baby asking for a chocolate. “You don’t have to take me on a trip”

“Why not? Are you sure? I’ll cancel it if you are not interested.”

“No. Don’t even think of cancelling it. I am interested I want to go on a trip with you.”

He was laughing, he was basking in the sunshine of her happiness. She asked “What happened to your principle? All days are for celebrating love?”

“Yeah, all days are for celebrating love but what is life without festivities?” 

“True. Tell me about the plan you have for the trip”

“I have already told you the place. Keep guessing, anything might happen tomorrow”

“Plan won’t be cancelled right?”

“I guarantee that will not happen”
They were bickering and bantering about their plans for more than half an hour.

“He has called me twice”

“Go and attend his call” said her boyfriend.

“His call ended before I could attend, I’ll call him if he calls again”

“Okay! He is your friend, you know him”

“He won’t mind, he’ll call back if it is important!”

“He still has no idea about us?”

“No”

“Tell him soon, he should have known that you were in love with me even before I got to know.”

“Okay I’ll tell him today. He is calling again, I’ll call you back, bye!”

“Bye! Come back soon! Love you!”

“Love you”

She called him, thinking what would be so important to call her thrice at midnight? Anyway her excitement of going on a trip with her bf was overshadowing everything
She said “At last he found his guts, he is taking me to mahabalipuram tomorrow”

“Who is taking you to mahabalipuram?”

“Oh! I didn’t want to keep it a secret from you but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. That moment had passed. Remember that guy I studied in college with who proposed me in our first year?”

“No. What about him?”

“So he proposed to me again this New Year, in my final year we got close and I accepted him!”

“Oh! Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“It is not that I wanted to hide it from you, I just thought you would not mind it! Leave it, it’s my fault, sorry, I should have told you earlier! Now tell me why did you call?”

“Oh okay! But you should have told me before we are talking daily and you didn’t tell me!”

“I said I am sorry. We were not talking frequently when he proposed to me. It’s no one’s fault. Leave it! Why did you call me?”

“Nothing, was not feeling sleepy, so thought I would say hello!”  

“To say hello you called me thrice?”

“Yeah!”

“Hmm, oh he is calling me!”

“Okay you carry on! How are going to mahabalipuram?”

“Bike ... Okay! Bye”

“Bye! Safe travel!”
She had felt never so far away from her friend, her lover had not called. She had wanted to end the call with her best friend, she felt pathetic. It felt like she had made a mistake from hiding it so long from him. She wanted to discuss this with someone.
She called her boy friend, “Why did he call you? Any problem?” he asked.

“No. He just wanted to talk. I told him about us”

“What did he tell?”

“I changed the topics did not allow him to talk much. He was asking me why I did not tell him before! I had no answer for him.”

“I think he might be in love with you!”

“No, the thought crossed me too. He is not like that, I know him!”

“Why would he call you at 12’o Clock midnight on Valentine’s day, if he is not in love with you?”

“He was not feeling sleepy and wanted to talk to someone. So he called me, I am his best friend!”

“Didn’t you see ‘when harry met sally?’ a boy and a girl can never be friends? He is better at hiding it. Now that you have told him we are in love, looks like he is going to bury his love even deeper”

“You are talking nonsense a boy and a girl can be friends! I know he cares about me and protective of me. But he is doing it just as he would do to his sister or mother.”

He was laughing hysterically and said “Did you notice? You just brotherzoned and sonzoned him! Anyway if you are sure about him I accept it”

“No. Do not accept just to convince me. That was just an example I am not putting him in any zone!”

“Yeah, you are not putting him in any zone! Okay! You are his friend for so long, I was just saying what I thought. You know him well so I accept what you say. Leave it. Tomorrow we have got a fully packed day. We need good sleep to be up and running tomorrow”

“You have not convinced me yet! Now I am going to sleep, we will have this discussion some other time!”

“As you wish dear! Kiss me good night”

“No, no kiss for you. Good night”

“Okay, I will kiss you good night then, muahh”

She giggled and gave him the kiss back. Call got ended. She was convinced that her best friend was not in love with her. So long they have been close to each other, he could have proposed to her anytime. Also he had a crush on someone, so he loving her was improbable. Even though seeing him as a partner was an inviting thought she was decisive that he was not in love with her. She made a mental note to ask him directly the next time he called.


So life goes on like this, there is no end. Indecision and procrastination are the bigger plague here. In any decision of life if we act on what we think is right there can be only two outcomes success or failure. Let’s not talk about success it has its own set of pros and cons. But failure brings fear and we are not ready to face it.

If you know where the problem lies, solution will not be far either. Hope to find the problems sooner and solve it!

Believe all! Trust None!

Live Life!