Careless wonderings

Darkness seems to be my only companion whatever I touch goes to ashes even when it promised me light. My insecurity is taking hold of me. I am losing myself in this abyss of darkness. Truth is playing hide and seek with me there too I am at the losing side. Dead ends seems to be where my path leads. Losing has become my habit. Dreams have gone down the drain. There is nobody to trust here in this darkness. Love seems to be avoiding me. Friends are becoming strangers to me. Pain and failure are being my companions now. The laughing stock of my peers is what I have become now. All hard work I do goes vain. When this climate changes, when the light rays hit me again are my questions now. Answers for these questions will make me love myself again!! These anticipations are worth to none. More consummate anticipation for all will come.





seri block panniruka..yen?
na unta number kekala, asingama pesala, unnoda picture ah use pannala,
unta seriya kooda pesala.. appram yenna dashuku block panna??
illa nee yenna avlo periya appataker ah?? karaname illama block panra unakae avlo athupuna block panna nee unblock panna piragum yenna panrathnae theriyama irukra yenaku evlo athupu irukkum???
ivlo pesurathaiyum nee paaka porathilla nu theriyum..
summa thoonichu athan..
oru vela paathena...
ithulaye yenna reasonnu comment adi...





060415

That hot salt water will flow down your face. You feel utterly alone. You will know that it is no one’s fault and if you had to blame anyone it should be you. But you just can’t understand why such an outburst, the no for asking such a simple help which can be managed by yourself is not the reason behind it. You search for a reason it, this breaking down had not happened for a long time. You will rack your brains, a myriad of emotions flow through you and none of them are positive, sadness, despair, fear, loneliness, helplessness, insecurity, feeling so ugly everything will come and have a go at you. You find no particular reason for these emotions to be inside you. You will have no one to talk to, you can’t frighten your family and burden them with your problems, no friend who will just hear because you were never the hearing one and you can’t impose yourself on your friends. You feel crazily alone. All you can do is give your pillow a hug and shout to it that you are lost.